The following announcements actually appeared in various church
bulletins:

1.  Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

2.  Thursday night - Potluck supper.  Prayer and medication to follow.

3.  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
    community.

4.  For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
    nursery downstairs.

5.  The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of
    David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

6.  This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends
     of the church.  Children will be baptized at both ends.

7.  Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies
    giving milk will please come early.

8.  Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet.  Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put
    me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.

9.  Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
    Club.  All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the
    Pastor in his study.

10.  This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward
     and lay an egg on the alter.

11.  The service will close with "Little Drops of Water."  One of the
     ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will
     join in.

12.  Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost
     of the new carpet.  All those wishing to do something on the new
     carpet will come foreward and do so.

13.  The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind.
     They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

14.  A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
     Music will follow.

15.  At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
     Hell?"  Come early and listen to our choir practice.

16.  The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

17.  Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to church secretary.

18.  Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
     several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

19.  The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
     sinning to join the choir.

20.  Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost
     of the new carpet.  All those wishing to do something on the new
     carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

21.  Please join us to show our support for Amy and Alan, who is
     preparing for the girth of their first child.

22.  The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM.  Steak, mashed potatoes,
     green beans, and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

23.  The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
     slogan last Sunday:  "I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours."

24.  Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
     Please use large double door at the side entrance.